My Soul Sister!

Blood different, backgrounds diverse, a moment of recognition, a glance and
then...the same. the same hearts, the same soul. My soul sister; Claire i found her

My soul cried

A friend of mine - a friend in my soul is experiencing the road of love. The road that leads you to a moment when the eyes meet and look away. And in that moment - the souls in each body comes out and kisses intimately whilst the minds and hearts wonder at who this being is and why do they feel drawn to each other. But it is written...in the glance - it is written in the soul's journey who searched for this other part of itself.

Pride can stand a thousand trials,
the strong will never fall
But watching stars without you,
my soul cried.
Heaving heart is full of pain,
oh, oh, the aching.
'Cause I'm kissing you, oh.
I'm kissing you, oh.
Touch me deep, pure and true,
gift to me forever
'Cause I'm kissing you, oh.
I'm kissing you, oh.
Where are you now?
Where are you now?
'Cause I'm kissing you.
I'm kissing you, oh.
Where are you now...
Where are you now...
Cos Im oh Im kissing you...

And in this moment - there is a lifetime of love.
There is a universe of love
There is LOVE

Not a love that can be contained or possessed....but i digress back to my friend and her soul connection. She has had to bid him farewell. But in the bidding has come the pain of the physical loss....and the bittersweet longing for what the future life together could look like...and the unbearable pain of never manifesting the love she feels for him.
But in an sms to me....
Ï know if it is written we will find a way"

THRICE BITTEN NOW A VICTIM

To blog or not to blog....well thats the question today. I have been riding on an emotional train to my inner victim this week wondering how to protect my baby and how to push through a tough time.
It is all about lessons I guess.
Today's lesson is that I cant save or protect anyone but myself. But boy is it a hard one.
Here is why....My baby Zia has been bitten for a third time on her face by another child younger than her. So not only does she have a scar but she looks like she has been mauled by a cat too.
So to protect her I decided to keep her out of school for a few days until the teachers can come up with a full proof plan to keep her safe.
However what gauls me has been a pattern that I have noticed throughout my life.
THAT BAD BEHAVIOUR GETS REWARDED IN THIS WORLD.
We humans have the ability to explain all negative behaviour away because dealing with the actual issue is far harder. In this instance ...Instead of the little girl who bit my daughter being suspended or kept at home because she is feeling neglected - it is my daughter that has to stay at home for her safety.
And time and time again I have seen this. In my life, drug addicts, emotionally unavailable men, cheating husbands and lazy fathers have been "let off the proverbial" hook because they do not take responsibility for their actions.
So the people who are working hard and doing their best get taken for a ride. Now you may say the reason for this behaviour is because good people are co-dependant. So that means people are either addicts or co-dependants. Or enablers and dependants. It is bizaar the way society rewards or makes excuses for people who do not pull their own weight. I may be ranting now but its my child's face and all I hear is how the other child is being neglected.
So here is to the chomp chomp lesson of the day.....stay away from biters cos they going to take a nibble out of you and get away with it.

Lighten up!!!!

Jeepers!! (a new word i learnt from a guru young hip psychic) but lovely to say..
why so glum. Life is too short but most often its so hard to laugh at..really if I just lightened up. Laugh out load. Go nuts - find the inner child and go frolick on the grass.
Damn people!!! nothing is so heavy that it needs to take over your whole being. We have a choice - this I learnt throughout my life. I can choose to have a jol, i can choose to laugh and I can choose to be miserable. Sometimes and you get bogged down in surviving rather than living. Eating an ice-cream when its melting all over your hands. Or taking a walk on the beach and instead of keeping clean you run in the surf get wet and messy.
You got to look at life like a cupcake. Just dive into it. See the sweetness, the beauty, and dodging the addiction of it...to just eat it up and in the end you have a messy face and sticy fingers to show for it.
Get into life - get dirty and be free....
http://messymonkeyartscre8.shutterfly.com/
Like this inspiring creators of messy monkey - who now makes a living and has an international company that thrives on play. Making money and freeing up participants to the fabuliciousness of their inner child.
My all time favourite - eat a mango naked !! wow what an experience.
LIFE PEOPLE...ITS FUN...ITS HERE!! ITS NOW
play jump eat project has inspired me to go play jump and eat.
check it out:http://messymonkeyartscre8.shutterfly.com/
TO LAUGHTER!!!!

SOULMATES

Soulmates shmoalmates....I do believe in soulmates -I have experienced the connection when you see someone and you know them from another time. A time when time did not exist. The world around you slips into a white noise in the background and all you know is that the soul that stands infront of you - is you. Has parts of you that you were searching for without knowing those parts were missing.
Its like finding a womb where belonging is being and moving away is like having your heart ripped open. Once seen, smelt, tasted and connected - this life is no longer as it was just a few seconds ago.
Yes I have felt this - walked it and lived through it.
But I can also say unequivically that there is not only ONE soulmate per lifetime...but rather a number of them. As each one passes through this life - they bring with the lessons needed to evolve. Once the lesson is done - the time comes to move and sometimes the soulmate you were with needs to move on to.
For some they are fortunate or maybe just too darn stubborn to let go of that one soulmate so they stay together and learn the same lesson over and over.
And for a select few the trauma of meeting another soulmate occurs whilst they are still with the first one....this is the story of pain, tragedy and rejection.
This is the hardest time for those wanting to give love as love is not allowed to be shared in this world we know. It is the love of jealously,envy and possessiveness. Not a love of unity, sisterhood and eternity. It is made to be exclusive and causes pain and abandonment to all in the triangle. But why would a person be faced with this choice. Is it not unfair of the universe to provide you with two or three soulmates at the same time - whilst others cannot even find one.
In my humble opinion it is as it should be - because the idea that you should and can only love one person is ludicrous. As humans we are built with a heart that can love our mother, our father, our sisters and cousins...so why then can we not love more than one wife or one partner. Why is love limited by society that dictates we should not explore communal love. Is that a dirty word - or rather be interpreted by the religious as an orgy? If we lived in a world where we had self love and we valued our community and we were not dominated by the ego's need for validation - we would learn the greatest lesson in this life....that love is free....that love can be given and received to all and that love is eternal...or we can wallow in high rates of divorce, affairs, sexual deviant acts of sodomy to pretend we are inclined to be monogomous and can mate with one person for the rest of our life.....
Huh I reel back from what I have written knowing that in reality I am married and how would I feel if I was the one facing the possibility of sharing a lover!!
Not so sure of myself now am I???

On Love, Facebook, sms, twitter, email

Expressions of love...before this time would be words or letters -delivered in hollywood-style productions like Gone with the Wind - or written in poems or letters sealed in wax... Time to savour and contemplate. Because once uttered or written the declaration was made and couldnt be taken back.
It seemed a more relevant and important process - a priority rather than an after thought.
It was simply to express Love. To show someone else a vulnerability that would lead to the greatest strength. It seemed a big step. To take the time to write a letter. To not smudge the ink, to seal it for the last time before the one you loved read it. Do not erase it or lose it or take it for granted.

What was life like before the cellphone, internet and email. How was love spoken about..face to face...to look into the eyes and connect with the soul.
Now we have the sms...the ability to say i luv u...and press send...to make an assumption that somehow - in a million miles away the person receiving it will feel the same.
To connect through an appliance no more useful than a potatoe peeler. To make declarations in code and icons - to build all your love and soul into a few digital words that may come back to you.
Once sent - it goes into a cyber space of temporarily existance - because what is sent on sms has a shelve life of 5 minutes.
I am a victim of sms love...wanting ..waiting for it...hoping it was felt with the pain and joy it was sent with...to not have one sent back..the rejection is like a knife wound. How hard is it to send a text?
Because love should be spoken face to face...so the wounds can be made right there...so the PRESENCE of the one you LOVE will be there to see and feel the LOVE.
To know all of the LOVE that is in you and not in a computer - or a page - or a phone screen. It is easy to throw that love around. It is easy to write a status where love is declared to all...but how is that love lived...On facebook, twitter or email....NO!! That love is lived in TIME spent together, in pain shared, in memories created, in light shown, in intimacy through touching, in life lived, in giving and receiving.
And yet I am an addict to these forms of communication...because it is easier to hide behind clever words on a screen rather than show my REALNESS...and be WHO I am because rejection can be misinterpreted on a screen. He didnt mean that - his busy - his tired - his at work - he doesnt like to text.....

Sit with the love, feel it and know it. Connect with it...and then look within - cos the one you really love cant receive it by facebook, sms, twitter or email....
because the one who needs to get it the most is YOU!!!

ADDICTION TO ADDICTS

We all live with some form of addiction - even if we are unaware of it. Addiction to good deeds, to negative thoughts, to success, to admiration, to approval and then the more physical ones - to drugs, alcohol, sex and pain.....
In my life I have had the mis-fortune of being attracted to addicts...addicts of all sorts...
My obsession stemmed from my fascination with how self-obsessed addicts are - how totally consumed they are about themselves - their own needs, thoughts and feelings..and how everyone and everything around them is just a means to feeding that addiction.
Now as you know if you are addicted to marijuana then the analogy is an easy one...buy a joint, smoke a joint, talk shit and chill..sleep...sober, smoke a joint, eat, create a beat, feel good, feel down, smoke blah blah blah

But it is when you come across the less obvious addictions - like the ones who crave approval - addicted to validation - now thats tricky....or the one addicted to rejection..or wait for it..the one addicted to being ignored....my personal favourite.

As functional human beings - you may disagree with me saying people are not truly addicted to the latter..Yes people beneath the physical addictions is the real addiction. Addicted to self annihilation...addicted to self loathing.

So whats in the addiction that drives someone to lose their family, their jobs, their friends, their dignity and self-respect. Its all about stopping the thoughts - for some escaping from the painful guilt of what they are doing, whilst for others its about being numb.
It all boils down to a lack of SELF LOVE.
If we loved ourselves enough - if we were whole and took the time to look at what is under the addiction - we would find a gaping whole where LOVE should reside.
Easier said than done. I am testiment to that - but having tried to stop my addictions...I have submitted to them- accepted I have them - but also not acted on them anymore - because when you act on it - it begins the spiral into the darkness.

It saddens me to watch when the addictions win. When someone will hang themselves because they are addicted to being a victim or a failure. When another will neglect her kids because she loathes herself. When addiction to junk is so important that a man can live alone and die alone in a house broken with the weight of dysfunction.

I dont have the answers - just the observation that most people are addicts - just some are addicted to healthier options.