MY FIRST TIME

This is a first for me...
The first time I am blogging.
The first time I am connected.
The first time I am free to be me.

Today I gave in. To the idea that blogging is for me. That I can write something worth reading that is my truth without wondering who will read this or what it will reveal. To just be FREE to write. Write about my life for me. And if no one reads this or the whole world read this - it is for ME. Not for them. Not for approval or comment or connection. Just a place to call my own. A space created of my own. My own place. My own space in this life where nothing is alone. And no one is sacred and everything is shared.

So this is my space. And I celebrate my freedom........


Freedom
It is fitting to think about this concept as it has dodged me most of my life. Born into a muslim conservative family as a so called "coloured" person under apartheid - the idea of freedom is ludicrous. Ludicrous to think that women ever feel free even without these constraints. But in my case - free from identity as a teenager and then now as an adult free from my humanness. To be free from feeling unworthy and free from addiction to rejection. To feel freedom to receive love without fear of it leaving. To be free to LOVE regardless of it being right or wrong. To Love freely and eternally.
But mostly Freedom has manifested in a beautiful precious courageous soul called Zia. Who has come to teach me - about what it means to love freely.
To be LOVED so much and adored so much - is to be free of the FEAR that something will happen to this most amazing soul and I may not be able to take care of her.
TO BE FREE TO BE A MOTHER....THAT IS PURE FREEDOM